Following my very favourable stint advertising a towel, I'm here to explain why a certain new brand of potato chips would do you a lot of good. And just like the towel, each segment of each chip will have different components of flavour, healthy ingredients, and even the not-so-good parts which will destroy your bladder but which will make you feel good in the fifteen minutes following your indulgence.
a) It is crisp to perfection. Everybody loves the crackle of a potato chip when it is bitten into, or heck, even the crispiness of a french fry or the thin crust of a pizza. Something so delicate cannot be compromised, and the width of a potato chip* is found to be measuring between 0.20 and 0.25 mm.
*results of test conducted on one full bag of chips, serial number SE541##21, in daylight hours, and with micrometre screw gauge, with remarkably good precision.
b) It is flecked with oregano, garlic (0.12% by weight), chilli, and five-spice powder. Talk about fancying an international cuisine!
c) Exotic ingredients have been used to make this product. Don't crib at the markup price. Here are the difficult situations researchers have gone through to extract these ingredients:
i) engaged in a showdown with a Nepalese yak (to obtain yak tears)
ii) bought a very expensive Bugatti Veyron for chasing the fastest bird (for Perigrine Falcon's droppings, 1.21% of weight)
iii) battled the mimosa pudica for hosts of insects (this was just for fun; our researchers are also esteemed zoologists)
You have to admit this is an impressive record.
d) Finally, this is the breakdown of a single potato chip:
Now you wouldn't say no to this, would you?
Enjoy.
Enjoy.
